Not Like Gwen and Gavin
by DSLeo
Summary: A celebrity divorce shakes up the Gilmore-Danes household. AU-ish, after finale.


Not like Gwen and Gavin

Summary: A celebrity divorce rocks the Gilmore-Danes household. AU-ish after finale.

Genre: Humor

Rating: Teen

AN: I saw that Gwen and Gavin are divorcing. I had to do this snippet. Note: OCs Matt and Liam are mine, but all else is canon to the show.

GG GG GG

Luke Danes ran from the diner to the highly-modified no-longer-Crap-Shack, and found twin sons Matt and Liam playing catch without a care in the world. At seven, they could and did spend hours climbing a tree, throwing a ball, or generally doing things Luke understood far better than he did the mall-marathons of his wife, his stepdaughter, and his daughter. Two Lorelais and an April in a mall usually meant he'd be cringing over the credit card statement for at least an hour. The boys and a mud puddle were a cinch compared to that.

The boys waved and pointed him inside. "Mom's all weird," frowned Matt.

"Duh," said Liam, in a tone that told Luke which son took after which parent. Ironically, Matt was more like him. Liam, named for William Danes, took after Lorelai. Fraternal twins, though their coloring was identical, the boys seemed to have somehow absorbed something of each family's mannerisms into their very DNA. Matt was prone to intense study and sulks and a sneaky sense of humor that popped out unexpectedly, much like Luke; Liam was a chatterbox with charm and charisma that blinded people to his sharp intellect, much like Lorelai. Yet it was Matt who had Lorelai's broad grin, and Liam who had Luke's way of scrunching up his forehead in worry.

All those years, and Luke could still be amazed by the brew of Gilmore and Danes DNA.

He thanked the boys and vaulted up the steps, acorss the porch, into the expanded living room. There, Lorelai lay sobbing in near-hysterics on the couch, with Rory fluttering awkwardly nearby, and a very confused April standing to one side. It was Rory who explained, "I was taking April to the airport to go back to California and we came by the house because Mom had a care package, and, well, y'know, here we are."

Though April's arrival in his life, and her mother Anna's annoying interference in their life, had thrown the famed Luke-Lorelai romance for several nasty loops, Lorelai held no grudges against April. Luke had never failed to be grateful for that. Not all women would be that rational. And yes, he knew it was odd to call Lorelai Gilmore rational, but it was a secret he didn't share. Beneath her chatter and quips lurked a very intelligent and very fragile woman.

He glanced at the care package Lorelai felt necessary for April's flight. Cal Tech had accepted her into a graduate program. The little girl he'd barely known was a woman, no denying it. So too was Rory. It made him glad for the boys. He'd missed being a dad to his girls, what with one thing and another. He wouldn't miss out with the boys.

Of course, Lorelai refused to let him miss out on more of April, making sure that his science-minded daughter got a healthy dose of Gilmore craziness. In this case, it seemed to be a box of chocolate-covered raisins for an airport snack, and "junk" reading. Including a celebrity gossip rag.

"Oh geez," said Luke quietly, when he saw the cover of that magazine. He handed the bag to April, hugged her good-bye yet again with a pang, and saw the girls off before he turned to his bawling wife.

He sat down. He took her in his arms.

"Th-they, buh-broke…" Lorelai raised her eyes to his. Seven years of marriage, the twins, and his diet rules had kept her looking ten years younger than she was. Balding (he refused to admit to bald _ness_ ), Luke wondered occasionally why she stuck with him when she was clearly much hotter a forty-something than he was. He'd even developed a slack paunch no matter how he jogged or worked out. He was, he thought despairingly, a basset hound married to a high-end high-strung show-winning setter. Proof if ever any was needed that the twins' fascination with dogs had rubbed off on him, yet the vital point was that she hung on him for all she was worth, wailing into his shirt, " _They broke up!_ "

"I know, I saw, it's okay, Lorelai, it's okay, sweetheart," he murmured into her rumpled curls. "Shh. It's okay. We're not Gwen and Gavin."

"Buh-buh-but…" Lorelai choked in a sob and gulped out, "his d-d-daughter and they h-h-had _sons_ and so do we, and… And what if in six years boom that's it for us too? Thirteen, unlucky number, duck, here comes an anvil to land on our marriage?!"

"Okay, first," said Luke sternly, wiping her face with his flannel shirt sleeve, "what's with you and the anvil obsession? Second, _we're not them._ They have three sons, we have two. We have two daughters, they've got, he's got, whatever, there's one, his from that other person." Luke flushed, still uncomfortable that he'd been deemed unworthy to know he had a daughter until that daughter sought him out. "Third, hey, you listening?"

"Three sons," nodded Lorelai frantically, big blue eyes fixed on his as if he held the answer to all mysteries.

"Third," said Luke, and kissed her, tear-stained face and all, "we already had about as irreconcilable differences as you can get, and we got married _after_ that."

Lorelai whooped in air, hands clinging to his. "So. Not like Gwen and Gavin?"

"Not like Gwen and Gavin," agreed Luke. "We're better. Much better."

For a very long time, they simply stared hard into each other's eyes.

Calm, Lorelai said, "Well, of course we're better. You're much hotter than Gavin. Much." Her smile quirked in a particular way that reminded Luke he was in his forties, but nowhere near dead. Nor dormant. In fact, he could right that moment take a nice long siesta from the diner and…

The sound of window glass breaking somehow penetrated his awareness soon enough for him to grab Lorelai and slam them both into the couch.

A baseball sailed over their heads, missing by mere inches, and slammed squarely into a priceless Gilmore family heirloom clock. Of the Victorian age, it boasted two ceramic cherubs surrounded by gilt-edged roses.

Sitting up carefully, Luke added, "And I seriously doubt Gwen and Gavin would give their sons a pizza night for breaking a window."

"Ah-ah-ah," drawled Lorelai, peering at the clock's remains. "They get the pizza for killing the creepy naked babies clock. The window gets them grease trap duty at the diner."

Luke couldn't help himself. He laughed. Then he kissed his wife, put on a mock-stern face that had her sniggering, and hollered, "William! Matthew! Inside _now_!"

"Oh _geez_ ," said two small voices from the yard. "Coming, Dad!"

"See?" Luke said as he awaited the miniature miscreants with his arm around Lorelai's shoulders. "Not like Gwen and Gavin."

GG GG GG

END


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